Lelah.

Aku lelah.Selalu berusaha untuk melupakan.
Terlalu sibuk melupakan,entah apalagi yang tersimpan dalam kotak besar bertuliskan memori.
Aku lelah.Selalu berusaha mencari pengganti.
Terlalu sibuk mencari,entah apa yang ,sebenarnya, ingin ditemukan.
Aku lelah berlari.Selalu ingin menghindar.
Terlalu ingin menghindar,entah apa yang awalnya dihindari.

Tersengal.
Terjegal.
Terjerembab.
Terluka.
Berdarah.

Aku hanya ingin berhenti.
Di satu titik.
Menarik nafas.
Melepas pikiran yang menhimpit.
Tersenyum tanpa harus bertanya,apakah kesedihan akan menyusul dibelakang.

Aku hanya ingin menyayangi.
Tanpa harus menyodorkan syarat.
Tanpa harus disodori syarat.
Mencintai tanpa ditempeli pekat masa lalu.
Ketakutan masa kini.
Kehampaan masa depan.

Aku hanya..
lelah.

Another Night.

Darkness has cast itself,
covering the day sky,
turning the lights,
changing it in to the dim lights of night.

How I hate it now,
how I despise it,
replacing the stars,
with every memory I own about you.

I am scratching the walls,
filled with images of you.
Trying to find something to hold on to,
so that I could take another step ahead.

It is unbearable.
This pain.
This longing.
This sense of missing a part of me.

Finding someone else to take your place,
forcing them to fit.
Even that hurts me.
Because no one can take your place.

Did things happened to fast,
or even to slow ?.
Was I early,
or was I late ?.

Was it real,
or just a dream ?.
Was it the truth you were telling me,
or just a beautiful lie ?.

A beautiful lie that I would rather have,
then this painful truth.

I just miss you.

Want You To Want Me.

I am scratching my skin.
Trying to get the feeling off of me.
This vast room filled with nothing but air.
My heart beats every time the mind sound your name.
It's so hard,I feel it might explode.

I know a scream would not get to you.
I can only hope a whisper could.
Trust the wind will blow it to your ears.
Is it so wrong for me to hope ?.
For that one chance.
For that one shot.

I have nothing left of you but memories.
Smiles.
A frown.
A chuckle.
A weird face.
Loneliness has never struck me so deep.
Maybe because,I used to have you.

I am crucified by my own thoughts.
Nailed down by the split images.
The you I've hoped for.
Unconsciously .
The same you I've lost.
Unconsciously.

I just want you to want me.
Try.