unsensed.

My body aches.
My heart,I don't even know how to describe what my heart is feeling.

I'm partly swollen by anger.
Partly by longing.

I'm angry at you for leaving without a note.
For ,just, walking away without even looking back.

Guessing.
Fighting with my own thoughts.

Asking.
Creating answers to fulfill myself.

I envy the heart I used to have.
When you were a part of it.

When you've colored it.
Without me even noticing.

I hate surprise minutes.
When you suddenly appear in my thoughts.

Like now.
Like tonight.

Shall I kill you in my head ?.
Shall I throw you outside my heart ?.

Even the smallest bits of you,
bleed me.

Time To Stop.

Holding on to such a small hope has never been so hard.
So tiring.
So useless.
Ignored words,
unheard explanations.

I have lost without even owning.
I have been pushed away before even holding close.
I have been lied to even before I know what the truth is.
I have been beaten and bruised.

I don't even know what I was fighting for.
And now..
I feel like stopping.